Monday, June 1, 2015

Making a Better Life

Image result for green lawn dead lawn

Why do we as a people all believe that the grass is greener somewhere else?

My job is a source of major stress right now. Without my salary we cannot afford our home.
I broached the fact that maybe we should not be fighting to save a home but a quality of life. Maybe we could have a better quality of life somewhere with a cheaper cost of living.

I have spent a few hours searching for alternative places with a lower cost of living. Southern CA is quite expensive. It is also so different from what I grew up with. I grew up in a small town, surrounded by family, with lots of open space.

My husband will never live anywhere with weather.  He wants temperate 70 degrees all the time. That rules out being near my family, it snows where they live.

Quality of life is something we keep saying we aspire to and yet it is a vague idea. Maybe it means I stay home, maybe it means we can see family more often, have more money to spend on trips and save for college, have the best school system for our children.

I did a search of the best places to live in the US and so many towns in California were high on the list. So if this is the case why am I so anxious to leave?

It is the strange, seemingly universal, unfounded belief that the grass is going to be greener if we move somewhere else.  I hear this constantly. My co-worker who finally moved out of her mother's house, my friends who keep talking about moving to Oregon and Washington state; one of whom moves in August.  Yet my co-worker who finally moved out of her mother's home has found some difficulties she did not expect and spends a lot of time helping her mother now which is not as convenient as when she lived at home.  Will the transition pains be worth it? Would we end up in a better place?  Would we make closer friends than we have here?

I think our best next step is for us to decide concretely what we want, what we think would make for a better quality of life and then see if we can make that happen here or if we really thinking moving is the only way to achieve those defined measurable goals.

As much as I want to assume, maybe irrationally, that things will be better if we move and start over I need to find a way to make a decision free of this irrational hope and temper the unreasonable belief that the grass will be greener somewhere else.


  1. I'm in a similar boat, trying to figure out where to move. I want one place, my fiance wants another. But I'd take his choice over staying where we are.

    Hope you figure things out and everything goes smoothly.

  2. I know wages are higher to compensate, but I can't imagine the cost of living in Southern California.
    I hope you find a good balance between all those things you want.

  3. I think it's in our nature to think (hope) things are better elsewhere. When really they could be worse.

    I live in Florida and I hate how hot it gets here. I'd rather be in North Carolina, or somewhere in the middle there, but then I'd be far from all of my family.

  4. Hi KAT - good luck with balancing the choices and deciding what to do ... downsizing may be helpful ... but leaving your neighbourhood and the area you know may provide more stress ... new jobs too perhaps ... it's not easy - good luck with whichever way you go .. cheers Hilary

  5. Thanks for sharing, this is beautiful. Life is a constant struggle of this in some form or another, yeah? My mom has stayed at home with us since I was born (I'm the oldest of six), and though money can be tight, none of us would have it any other way. It's the best gift that anyone could ever have given me, her sacrifice of being home. I'll keep you in my prayers as you figure all this out!

  6. I feel for you. You have tough decisions to make. Do you want to leave California or just from a metropolitan area? If it's to a small town, Is your and the Husband's line of work ones that that can be easily found in a smaller CA town or would you have to commute? I live in a small CA town where the cost of houses is no longer a bargain and a majority of the people commute to work. Fortunately for me, my commute has been always down the hall. The downside is that we live on a limited income. Upside is we're content about not having to deal with office politics and commuting. I wish you the best. No doubt, you'll make choices that you like.
    The View from the Top of the Ladder
    Take 25 to Hollister

  7. I have heard that about California. Perhaps it's partly because of the 70-degree temps. I always thought it'd be fun to live near Los Angeles because of Hollywood...but I think I'll just visit whenever I need my Hollywood fix! I live in Nashville--you can get a good house for $200,000-$300,000. There are houses for cheaper than $200k but they're smaller, in bad parts of town, or way out in the country! If you don't have to be near an urban area for work, though, you could move out to an area of California that's far out from everything. Is there such a thing out there?

  8. I've moved around quite a few times in my life and the truth is that no one place is really better than another. Everywhere has its pros and cons and we just have to adapt as best we can.

  9. There's nothing worse than having a stressful job. I had one for 15 years so I know! And it sucks California is so expensive. I lived there as a kid and I'd love to be able to live there again. For $200,000-300,000 you could get a really nice house in a lot of areas. Wages probably are much lower here, though.

    1. ps I was referring to house prices Maine where I live.